Introverted people are not necessarily apprehensive about talking to others, although some introverted people certainly do experience shyness or social anxiety. Introverts prefer to think before they speak. They typically don’t enjoy a lot of chit-chat or small talk. So, the next time you notice someone who is quiet and reserved, don’t assume that they are shy or afraid of talking to others. If you are an introvert, you might recall being told by parents or other adults to “come out of your room and stop sulking,” when you were really just trying to have a little quiet time. This can be confusing for extroverts who may not understand why a person needs solitude. In many cases, the introverts in the room are content to sit back and observe, taking in all the interesting sights, sounds, and conversations. They are curious and want to learn more about the world and the people around them. Before you interpret this initial reserve as rudeness, consider personality and interpersonal styles. It is important to understand that an introvert might simply need to get to know you better before they feel comfortable and willing to open up. But even spending time with close friends and loved ones can be draining. People with introverted personalities periodically need quiet time to decompress and regain the energy they expend while socializing. Many introverts do describe themselves as “homebodies,” or people who enjoy hanging out at home and enjoying their family and hobbies. This does not mean that they are afraid of public spaces. Kids who receive constant feedback from adults and peers that something is fundamentally wrong with their personality just might, however, start to question themselves as a result. So what can you do to start up a conversation with an introvert? Try starting an interesting conversation about something the introvert cares about and you just might find that they can be the most talkative person in the room.
Making a quiet student take over as the leader of a group.Assigning a reserved child the lead role in the class play.Pairing quiet kids with the most extroverted kids in class for group assignments.
Such actions are often accompanied with the justification: “You’re too quiet and getting you out there more will help you get over it!” But introversion isn’t something to “get over.” Extreme shyness and social anxiety are problems that need to be addressed, particularly if they result in significant distress or impairment in daily life. But it should be dealt with in a compassionate and professional way. Forcing a shy or anxious child into social situations where they feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable is not the most appropriate way to help. For an introvert, constantly being told that “you’re quiet” is a lot like telling an extrovert that they “never shut up.” It’s unnecessarily rude and comes with the implication that there is something wrong with the individual.
A Word From Verywell
Not all introverts (or extroverts) are the same. Painting each personality type with broad strokes misses all the nuances and detail that make each person a unique individual. Learning more about how people with these personality types tend to think, act, and feel can improve your understanding of people who are different from you.
