Avoidance
True avoidance behaviors involve the complete avoidance of the feared social situation. For example, someone afraid of public speaking might:
Drop a class in which he has to give a speech Change jobs to avoid giving presentations Fail to show up for an event such as a wedding or awards ceremony in which he is expected to speak in front of others
Escape
When total avoidance is impossible, escape behaviors may be used as a means of dealing with feared situations. Escape involves leaving or escaping from a feared social or performance situation. Some examples of escape include
Leaving a gathering earlyWalking out in the middle of a speechHiding in the restroom during a dinner party
Partial Avoidance
When neither avoidance nor escape is possible, partial avoidance (also known as safety behaviors) may be used to alleviate feelings of anxiety during social or performance situations. Safety behaviors generally limit or control your experience of a situation. Safety behaviors might include such things as
Avoiding eye contact Reduced verbal communication Lowering one’s voice when speaking
Are You Using Safety Behaviors?
If safety behaviors have become a way of life for you, it might be hard to even be able to recognize if you are using them. They may have become habitual ways of behaving that now you don’t even know what it would be like not to use them. If you continue to feel anxious in situations even after facing them many times, this is a clue that you might be using safety behaviors.
Avoidance Maintains Anxiety
The problem with avoidance behaviors is that they maintain the symptoms of anxiety. The safety behaviors are often assigned value for “surviving” social anxiety, but then blame for the anxiety or awkwardness is still placed upon the self, perpetuating the cycle. If you always avoid giving speeches, or if you only give speeches without making eye contact, your anxiety about giving a speech will never diminish. These behaviors prevent you from gathering evidence that disproves your maladaptive beliefs about social situations. For example, if you always leave a party at the first sign of anxiety, you never have the chance to learn that if you stay long enough in the situation, your anxiety will eventually diminish. Instead of avoiding giving speeches, or only delivering them in a “safe” way, you need exposure to giving speeches without avoiding, escaping or using safety behaviors.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) aims to identify avoidance behaviors and provide exposure to feared situations. Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) teaches you how to lessen the impact of your anxious thoughts in perpetuating the cycle of panic and anxiety.
Five-Minute Solution
Are you looking for a quick way to reduce your avoidance? Draw on the principles of the therapies mentioned above. For example, you might do the following: If you have an urge to hide in the bathroom at the next party you attend, promise yourself to go back out for at least five minute intervals before you return. Gradually work your way up to longer periods of returning to the party. If you have thoughts such as the following: Everyone must think I am awkward and boring say something to yourself like That is interesting, but it’s just a thought. I don’t have to let it bother me. That’s just what my mind does when I am in these situations.
A Word From Verywell
While avoidance maintains anxiety, be careful to gradually move into exposure situations after a long period of using safety and avoidance. It’s better to gradually work on reducing your use of these behaviors while increasing time spent in situations that cause you anxiety.
