Let’s look at whether it’s actually possible for this to happen, why it might occur, and what to do about it if you’re in a position where you feel addicted to someone.
Is It Really Possible to be Addicted to Another Person?
In short, yes. It’s completely possible to be addicted to another human.
Addiction is a compulsion to do something that makes you feel a certain way—usually, something that floods your brain with happy chemicals, such as dopamine or oxytocin.
Addiction specialists believe that addiction can occur with anything and that a person can subsequently suffer from an unhealthy addiction to anything or anyone.
The Differences Between Love and Addiction
Addiction to a person may feel like love to you, but it manifests in unhealthy ways. Let’s look at the differences between a loving relationship and an addictive one.
Characteristics of a Loving Relationship
Healthy boundaries are easy to keepYou feel free to talk about your feelings with themYou both take alone time and encourage one another’s solo outings and activitiesYou respect their privacyYour self-esteem does not depend on your partner’s thoughts of youNo one in your life is concerned about your level of involvement with them
Characteristics of an Addictive Relationship
You feel uncomfortable or like you can’t handle life when they aren’t thereYou think they are the only person you will ever loveThey are expected to fulfill all of your needsYou feel jealous or upset if they do anything outside of the relationshipFriends and loved ones from your life before this person are worried about you; you may be in less frequent contact with them, as well
Why You Might Become Addicted to a Person
Now that you understand how to differentiate between love and addiction, you’re probably wondering why addiction to another person might occur. Here are some of the top reasons.
You’re Seeking A High
New people can be very exciting, and interaction with someone can flood our brains with feel-good chemicals. If you meet someone and they make you feel like a better version of yourself, it can become addictive to want more of that feeling.
You’re Prone to Addiction
A person with an addictive personality is one who has challenges with moderation, which isn’t necessarily only in relation to drugs and alcohol. People prone to addiction may be more likely to exhibit mood swings, impulsivity, thrill-seeking behaviors, and low self-esteem. Because members of the mental health field have criticized the idea that some people have addictive personalities, it’s important to break down the individual factors that may lead to addictive behavior so that we aren’t lumping all people into one category. For instance, a genetic background of family members who suffer from addiction may increase your risk of addiction. Additionally, environmental factors such as poverty play a contributing role. And lastly, mental health conditions can increase addiction risks.
You Never Saw What a Healthy Relationship Looked Like
If you’ve never seen an example of a healthy relationship in your life, it can impact how you navigate relationships in adulthood.
Why Addiction to a Person Can Be Harmful
Pop songs might make it sound fun, but addiction to another person can be dangerous. These are the reasons why:
You may stay with someone even if they become abusiveThe rest of your life, such as your work or school, may suffer because you give less time and energy to itPeople in healthy relationships may no longer want to be around youYou may use substances to cope with troubles in the relationshipIf the relationship ends, you may feel unable to cope with life
What to Do If You Think You’re Addicted to A Person
Being addicted to someone is mentally unhealthy, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. You can take steps to turn your relationship and your life around for the better. For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database. It’s possible to educate yourself, and to get help, so that you can change.
Learn About Addiction
Addiction can be lifelong, so if you’re experiencing it as a life issue, it’s very important that you work to understand what it is and your own personal risk factors. Addiction recovery programs offer substantial literature, usually in the blog sections of their websites, about addiction-related issues. Educating yourself about what addiction is and how it has been at play in your life, can be a key step to your recovery.
Learn About Codependence
Addiction and codependence may be intertwined. Codependence defines a relationship dynamic where people rely on one another to an unhealthy extent. This may be particularly apt if you are in a relationship where each of you feels addicted to the other. There are many steps you can take to stop being codependent, as it is fully possible to recover from. Taking care of your needs, establishing healthier boundaries, and communicating with others who experience codependency can all play a part in helping you change your patterns.
Seek Professional Help
Educating yourself can potentially be enough to help you shift away from addictive behavior, but this is often not the case. It’s very normal to need professional help. Many types might be right for you, from a relationship therapist to an addiction program.
A Word From Verywell
Addiction to a person may feel fun and exciting. Still, it’s worth remembering that there will always be fun and exciting interactions with others in your life and that you can experience joy and delight without it being all-consuming or interfering with your daily tasks.
