Even though travel restrictions have changed since the beginning of the pandemic, it can still be challenging to get together with loved ones—especially those who have a high risk of getting COVID-19. The holidays can also bring up memories of those we lost during the pandemic, which can be painful to cope with. Loneliness on a holiday can trigger feelings of sadness, anger, confusion, and frustration, so it’s extra important to tend to your mental health and well-being during these times. This article provides ways to still feel connected during the holidays that are affected by COVID-19, as well as how to handle tough emotions when they arise.
Connect Virtually
Reaching out to the people we love is a great idea at any time of year, but especially so during the holidays. Try reaching out before an upcoming holiday—with a call, a text, or an email—and asking your family member or friend if they’d want to have a phone call or a video call (even a short one!) on the special day. It’s OK to be vulnerable when you reach out to loved ones. You might say, “I’m sad about spending Memorial Day alone this year. Would it be alright if I called you that day?” If you can’t physically be with loved ones on a holiday, there are other ways you can connect. For instance, you can:
Have a virtual happy hour with your friendsPlan a virtual dinner date with a loved oneSchedule a check-in with family members
Join an Online Support Group
There are many types of online support groups that can help you combat loneliness over the holidays. There are also online grief support groups that can help you cope with the loss of a loved one. This can be especially helpful if it’s your first holiday without a family member or friend. Some support groups even have chat rooms where you can connect with other people at any time of day or night. Stress during the holidays may affect symptoms of mental health conditions, too. There are online support groups for mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and more. Connecting with people who can relate to your experience with your mental health condition can also help you feel less alone. In fact, research finds that more people with mental health conditions started using online support groups during the COVID-19 pandemic to find support, share experiences, and learn helpful coping mechanisms.
Try Volunteering
If you’re able to attend in-person events, volunteering can be a great way to feel more connected to your community. Many neighborhoods or cities have service programs—maybe you start a toy drive for Christmas or Hanukkah, or serve dinner at a food shelter for Thanksgiving. It can feel good, especially during a holiday, to give back to others. Plus, volunteering can have excellent health benefits, including:
Boosting self-esteemImproving life satisfactionIncreasing happinessReducing depressive symptoms
Learn a New Skill
Have you always wanted to play guitar? Do you dream about learning French? Whatever your interests are, there’s no time like the present to start acquiring a new skill. Hobbies can give you a sense of accomplishment, and learning new skills can actually help improve symptoms of depression, decrease stress, and boost self-esteem.
Have Fun
Holidays should also be times when we celebrate ourselves, and spending time having fun can have enormous mental health benefits, like boosting your well-being and reducing stress. Especially if you get a day or two off of work for a holiday (or if you can take a day off!), take advantage of the extra time and do something that brings you joy. Maybe you go to the movies or go for a bike ride. If your neighborhood has adult sports leagues, like a dodgeball or softball team, see if they have any events planned.
Practice Self-Care
Self-care has become sort of a buzzword, but no matter what you see in advertising campaigns or on social media, self-care doesn’t have to mean regular spa days, wine in the bathtub, expensive vacations, or retail therapy. Taking a nap can be self-care, as is taking a break from work to dance to your favorite song. Maybe you write a poem, go for a walk, or spend the day watching all of your favorite movies. Self-care can also mean setting boundaries with other people, or removing ourselves from a toxic relationship. Self-care is also admitting that we need help in order to heal from difficult experiences or to deal with tough emotions. Self-care was an important practice for many people at the start of COVID-19 and throughout the pandemic. In general, it’s a way to help keep yourself accountable for your mental and physical health. If you feel on the verge of burnout or your muscles feel tight, take it as a sign that you can benefit from some de-stressing.
Practice Gratitude
A great way to lift your mood is to take stock of the good things in your life, especially when you may be missing other things, like having family and friends around for the holidays. There’s nothing too big or too small to be grateful for. Your list may include:
A friendly chat with your neighborHaving a safe place to livePhone calls with your best friendReading a good bookWatching your favorite TV showYour cat or dog
Practicing gratitude can also mean giving to others. Whether you are helping your neighbor grocery shop, buying a small gift for a friend, or mailing a card to a loved one, you are giving your time and skills to others, which can give you feelings of well-being, meaning, and pride. Try keeping a gratitude journal, which is a dedicated notebook where you jot down things that you’re thankful for.
Get Outside
Did you know that being outside in green spaces can help lower your risk of depression and lead to faster recovery from psychological stress? Whether it’s going to your local park or finding a new hiking trail, there are many mental health benefits of spending time in nature, such as improving your ability to focus, increasing energy, and boosting your self-esteem. It can also help reduce anger and depression.
Seek Help If You Need It
Sometimes, no matter how much we try to combat loneliness, we still feel isolated and sad. Notice if you feel any of the following, which could be indicators of depression:
Difficulty concentrating Fatigue Feeling withdrawn or disconnected Irritability Lack of motivation Not enjoying things you used to enjoy Poor appetite Sleep problems Suicidal ideation Trouble making decisions Weight changes
If these or any other symptoms you’re experiencing feel disruptive to your day to day life, it’s important to seek help from a doctor or a mental health professional. It’s OK to ask for help when you need it, and there are resources available to help you cope. Treatment types vary, but therapy—such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)—is a common method to address feelings of loneliness, as well as any underlying mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, and trauma. For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database. By teaching you healthy coping mechanisms, a therapist can help you address your loneliness, understand where your loneliness is coming from, and actively make decisions to improve your sense of belonging and connectedness. In some cases, a doctor may also recommend medication like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), which are antidepressants that can also help improve your symptoms.
A Word From Verywell
If you’ve come to dread the holidays since COVID-19, know that you’re not alone in feeling this way. The holidays can trigger feelings of sadness and isolation, especially if you’re unable to spend them with loved ones. Know that there are many ways you can cope with loneliness. Virtually reaching out to family and friends, volunteering in your community, and practicing self-care are just a few ways that may help. However, if you find you’re struggling with loneliness, talk to a doctor or mental health professional. They can offer you resources that will help you process difficult emotions and achieve a more optimistic outlook when the holidays do come around.
