Anxiety disorders, including panic disorder, are marked by extreme fears and worry. When one partner is trying to cope with the symptoms and emotions of an anxiety-related condition, it can add stress to a relationship. These issues can potentially cause a breakdown in mutual communication and understanding. If you are married to or in a relationship with someone who has panic disorder, you may know all too well its impact on relationships. If you have been diagnosed with panic disorder, you may recognize that your symptoms also affect your partner or spouse. The following information describes four ways in which a couple can work together to manage issues related to one partner’s diagnosis of panic disorder and agoraphobia.
Get Additional Support
A partner may feel that they are being the most helpful if they drop everything and only attend to the needs of their partner with panic disorder. Contrary to this belief, it is actually important that partners of those with panic disorder spend time on their own self-care needs. This means that they maintain a social, work, recreational, and spiritual life while remaining supportive of their partner. If you are in a relationship with a person with panic disorder, try not to think it is selfish to put emphasis on your own personal needs. If you want to be truly supportive of your partner with panic disorder, start by taking care of yourself. Make an effort to engage in your personal hobbies, exercise, pay attention to your nutritional needs, practice relaxation techniques, and find social support. If you are feeling limited in your social support, consider joining an online support forum or a local group in which you can talk with other partners affected by mental illness. The National Alliance for Mental Illness (NAMI) offers resources and groups through their nationwide chapters.
Put an End to Enabling
You may not be aware of them, but enabling behaviors are common in relationships where a partner has anxiety, panic disorder, or another mental health condition. If your partner has anxiety, you may feel like you are being helpful if you are working to prevent them from from feeling any distress. However, when you enable your partner, it prevents them from learning how to better manage their symptoms. It is your partner’s responsibility to work through that process and come to terms with their condition. If your partner refuses to seek or accept help, it’s important that you address these concerns with them. Keep in mind that you are really helping your partner when you support them in facing reality and encouraging them to learn how to cope with panic disorder.
Consider Couples Therapy
At times, a person with panic disorder may decline treatment or even deny that they need help at all. This can be frustrating and hurtful to a partner who wants to have a healthier relationship. If you are finding that your partner won’t seek out help on their own, it may be time to suggest couples counseling. A couple’s therapist can assist with communication problems and other unresolved issues affecting your relationship. If your partner resists couple’s therapy, you can still seek help on your own. A therapist can help you sort out your feelings and figure out what is ultimately best for you.
Practice Forgiveness
Learning to forgive is often an issue for couples dealing with relationship problems. A person with panic disorder may be angry with their partner for not understanding their condition. The partner of the person with panic disorder may develop feelings of resentment, possibly believing that their partner can control their symptoms or being upset when they feel that their partner is not working hard enough to cope with their condition. Many times a couple cannot move forward until they have forgiven each other for past mistakes. It can be helpful if both partners recognize how they may have been perceived and promise to move forward without bringing up past hurt. By practicing forgiveness, a couple may also be able to let go of pent-up tension and anxiety.
