This shift between idealization and devaluation found in BPD is known as splitting, which signifies a disturbance in both thinking and emotion regulation. It reflects challenges in maintaining an integrated view of the good and bad in a person under stress. This article discusses the cycle of idealization and devaluation and why people with BPD might engage in this type of thinking. It also covers how splitting can damage interpersonal relationships.
What Is Idealization?
Idealization is a psychological or mental process of attributing overly positive qualities to another person or thing. It’s a way of coping with anxiety in which an object or person of ambivalence is viewed as perfect, or as having exaggerated positive qualities. Idealization reduces anxiety by protecting the person from emotional conflicts that might emerge in a relationship. Rather than deal with the fear that the other person isn’t perfect or that the relationship might not work out, idealization allows them to keep the fantasy of perfection intact. They feel intense closeness towards that person and place them on a pedestal. This can quickly and unpredictably change to intense anger toward that person, a process called devaluation.
What Is Devaluation?
In psychiatry and psychology, devaluation is a defense mechanism that is just the opposite of idealization. It’s used when a person characterizes themselves, an object, or another person as completely flawed, worthless, or as having exaggerated negative qualities. Idealization can quickly turn into devaluation because there is often no middle ground for a person with BPD. Feeling challenged, threatened, or disappointed can quickly cause them to devalue the people they formerly idealized. Rather than cope with the stress of ambivalence, devaluing functions to minimize the anxiety caused by ambiguity.
Splitting as a Defense Mechanism
Splitting involves an inability to hold two opposing thoughts, beliefs, or feelings. People who have BPD tend to view others in all-or-nothing, black-and-white terms. This self-protective defense mechanism aims to help people with BPD protect themselves from getting hurt in relationships. By labeling people as “good,” they are able to engage in relationships despite the emotional risks. If they feel threatened, they can then quickly discard the individual or the relationship by labeling them as “bad.” Like most defense mechanisms, someone with BPD may not be aware they are engaging in devaluation and idealization. Splitting is a subconscious way to protect themselves from perceived stress. Splitting reflects the challenges associated with maintaining an integrated view of the good and bad in a person under stress. Some researchers suggest that some of the difficulty is rooted in the way the brain, particularly the amygdala and prefrontal lobe, activates in these experiences for people with BPD.
Do I Have BPD?
Devaluation and idealization are defense mechanisms commonly used in borderline personality disorder. That said, just because you engage in these defense mechanisms does not mean you have BPD—it’s simply a feature of this disorder. Idealization is sometimes also seen in narcissistic personality disorder, especially towards the self or the treating therapist. Splitting, or the rapid fluctuation between idealization and devaluation, is classically seen in borderline personality disorder. Speak with your doctor or a therapist if you are concerned that you use unhealthy coping strategies like these to deal with emotional conflict or stress. A therapist can help you focus on developing new behavior and thinking patterns that can improve your interpersonal relationships.
