William Glasser developed reality therapy in 1962, but he didn’t describe choice theory until 34 years later, in 1996. He described it as an update on an existing concept called control theory because he thought that name sounded more positive. Glasser believes that the solution to a happier existence is fairly simple: people making better choices will lead to better relationships and overall happiness. The choice theory dictates that people, at their core, are trying to satisfy five basic needs.
Techniques of Reality Therapy
During reality therapy, therapists will often work with their patients to understand these four concepts laid out by choice theory.
Relationship Habits
This is particularly important for couples who are interested in reality therapy. It proposes that every interaction can practice the seven connecting or the seven disconnecting relationship habits. Connecting relationship habits include supporting, encouraging, and listening, while disconnecting habits include criticizing, blaming, and complaining.
Quality vs. Perceived World
According to Glasser, everyone has a quality world in their minds, where they store away their goals and visions for their lives. For your mind to consider something a part of the quality world, it only has to meet at least one basic need. The perceived world, on the other hand, is much more subjective. Basically, Glasser explains that the perceived world is based on all of your life experiences, as well as your background. From there, each experience or person that you encounter is filed away based on things that have happened to you in the past.
Comparing Place
Comparing place is the act of mentally comparing what you want (your quality world) with what you have (your perceived world). Glasser believes that the closer the two are, the better a person feels.
External vs. Internal Control Psychology
Glasser believes that every choice is purposeful and that people make their best attempt with the information at their disposal. That said, in reality therapy, Glasser encourages people to look at these choices objectively so that they can determine whether they’re actually bringing them closer to their goals.
What Reality Therapy Can Help With
Since reality therapy hinges on the beliefs of choice theory, the practice techniques focus largely on the five basic needs that humans aim to fulfill in their lives. While Glasser believes that humans are genetically driven to attain all five needs, he says that some people might need more of one than the other. While many therapists use concepts from reality therapy in their practices, some of the tenets of reality therapy have proven most helpful in school settings. In an article for The Education Digest, William Glasser explained that more mindful student-teacher interactions and relationships could change the outcome of a child’s ability to learn. This, he explains, is because children need to feel respected, and teachers need to make efforts to understand students’ individual roadblocks. Couples therapy is another setting where aspects of reality therapy and choice theory have proven particularly helpful. It asks couples to think about what they are directly responsible for and build on the good.
Benefits
Since reality therapy emphasizes accountability, it’s proven to be particularly helpful for adults struggling with addiction. Not only does it help them recognize the negative impacts that it has had on their lives in the past, but it has also been shown to increase feelings of hope. This is because it also helps them feel more in control. Reality therapy has also proven to be quite beneficial in school settings. Not only does it emphasize self-control, but it also shows kids that they can control the consequences that result from their behaviors and their school work.
Effectiveness of Reality Therapy
Reality therapy has proven to be super effective in groups since it emphasizes accountability. This concept is often easier to grasp when taught alongside others who are also participating. That said, it teaches people to hold themselves personally accountable as well. It’s worth noting, however, that it has been studied significantly less in practice during individual therapy sessions. That said, in addition to improved performance with students, it has also proven beneficial with teachers. This is partially because interacting with groups of people going through similar experiences helps people, in general, feel less alone and more supported. Another group that has experienced positive effects as a result of reality therapy is people with schizophrenia. Patients engaged in sessions of group reality therapy experienced boosted self-esteem, a higher feeling of being in control, and had an easier time coping with stress.
Things to Consider
While many of these concepts are widely accepted, there are some pitfalls to consider if you’re looking for a personal therapist specializing solely in reality therapy. The most major, of course, is that it does not take mental health conditions into account. This is particularly important if you’re looking for a therapist for yourself or you and a partner. However, the overarching concepts can still be useful in school or educational settings.
How to Get Started With Reality Therapy
If you are searching for a counselor or an educator certified in choice theory and reality therapy, the Glasser Institute offers a directory. If you’re looking for a reality therapist that understands the concepts, consider setting up an initial call with a new therapist to ask about their methods and if they integrate reality therapy into their sessions. Other questions prompted couples to explain what they think is wrong with the relationship, what they think is good in the relationship, and what they will do in the next week that they believe will help. The point of these questions is to help the couple focus on what they can control, and throughout the sessions, they will be asked to continue adding in things that they can change.
