The word anorexia means without appetite (anorexia being derived from the Greek word, orexis), so sexual anorexia refers to a lack of sexual appetite. What makes it a form of addiction is the compulsive avoidance of sex. This can include behaviors related to sex, self-image, and intimacy:
Persistent fear of intimacy, sexual contact, sexual pleasure, sexually transmitted infections, etc.Preoccupation, to the point of obsession, with sexual matters, including the sexuality, sexual intentions and sexual behaviors of others, and their own sexual adequacyNegative, rigid, or judgmental attitudes about sex, body appearance, and sexual activityShame and self-loathing over sexual experiencesSelf-destructive behavior in order to avoid, limit, or stop sex
Who’s at Risk
Sexual anorexia can affect men and women alike. According to Carnes, survivors of past sexual abuse or sexual rejection are most often affected and are often unaware of the reason for their difficulties with sex. People who strongly identify with cultural, social, or religious groups that involve sexual oppression, repression, or other negative approaches to sexuality may also be particularly vulnerable to developing the obsessive avoidance of sex that characterizes sexual anorexia.
Do People With Sexual Anorexia Ever Have Sex?
Despite their aversion to sex, people living with sexual anorexia may still engage in sexual relationships. Ironically, a person with sexual anorexia may even form a relationship with a person who has an unmanaged sex addiction, as one partner struggles with control over their sexuality while the other has excessive control.
Getting Help
Sexual anorexia is not an official diagnosis in the American Psychiatric Association (APA)’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), but problems of avoidance of sex are well-recognized by sex therapists, couples counselors, and psychologists. You can also contact your local psychological association or the American Psychological Association website for help finding a psychologist. The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH) can also help you find a therapist with expertise in sex addiction and sexual anorexia.
